Love Is Not Lost Read online

  During the long drive, HotShot and I had finally come to a truce, a friendship, sort of. He didn't growl at me, and I petted him every so often.

  “Faith,” Sarah began, and I grumbled. Sarah was the only one who could get away with calling me that. “I had the schools transfer your college credits and records over here." She continued, "It's a smaller college but it has great reviews for the classes you're taking.”

  I smiled happily, “Thanks. I want to catch up so I don't fall behind.”

  “What's your major or what are you going for?”

  I just shrugged. “Don't know.” I was taking a lot of lectures on mathematical sequencing and patterns but didn't have a final idea of where I was going with it. Calculations were soothing. It seemed to be always concrete and never changing, only improving. The foundation of it was solid.

  When we turned into a neighborhood, I noticed that the homes were older, uniquely so. I could tell it was the upper side of town.

  We eventually pulled into a two-story Victorian that could use a little fixing up, but seemed to have potential.

  “Do you like it?” Sarah asked when we got out of the SUV. I looked at the house and nodded.

  “Yes. Yes, I do.”

  And then a ball hit the back of my head. I turned around and saw him. He was yummy. Tall and tan with a taut, muscular build. He jogged over to us, his blue eyes worried.

  “I'm so sorry about that,” he called out as he approached. I stooped down and plucked up the football while I rubbed the back of my head. When I stood, I glared at him and handed over the cause of my pain.

  “Are you the idiot who threw it?” I demanded.

  “No,” he said, gesturing behind him, as another hottie jogged over. “He did.”

  “Are you the McGuire's son?” Brady asked the first guy.

  The guy's eyes widened as he reached out a hand to shake Brady’s. “We both are. I'm the middle one, Kayden, and this is my brother.” He gestured as the other guy reached us.

  His brother looked sheepish as he looked towards me, and rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment, “Sorry for hitting you with the ball. I'm Lincoln. Who are you?” he asked as he turned his eyes over to Brady.

  “I'm Tom Brady, this is my wife, Sarah, and my daughter, Faith.”

  “Daniels," I stated, glaring at him while Brady grinned knowing that he did let my first name slip on purpose. I wasn't bothered by the introduction, but the use of my first name did. I turned back to both guys and smiled. “It's Daniels.” They were grinning as they nodded.

  “I'm friends with your father," Brady continued. “He's the one that offered me a job here.”

  It took a minute, but the guy who hit me with the ball had an epiphany of some sort, I guessed, because he pointed a finger at Officer Brady and blurted out, “You're the Officer Brady from back home! The one whose foot got run over by my older brother Tyler!”

  Brady cleared his throat. “The very one. I also pulled him over for joyriding in a hearse, and for planting a fake body in the back that launched out every time he stopped at a light.”

  My eyes widened in disbelief as I whipped my head towards him, trying to figure out if he was joking or not. “Are you freaking serious?” I asked, not quite believing it, but his face was grim. The boys were also laughing, so apparently it must be.

  Brady's lip twitched upward, “Unfortunately, yes.”

  ***

  That night I dreamed about my fears, my demons. I was losing them all over again. My brother, my parents, but, this time, I was watching from the outside. I tried to save my brother from the fatal crash.

  Even though I wasn't with him at the time of his death, my dreams came up with horrid scenarios. Every time. Every time I shut my eyes, it was either nothingness or gut-wrenching pain. It hurt.

  My brother left me.

  My parents changed as they drowned themselves in their grief.

  Ignoring me. Hurting each other.

  My heart was still pounding. My body felt clammy as I tried to gather my bearings. It had been weeks since my last nightmare. I realized it was still nighttime as I peeked around my new room, seeing shadows in the darkness as I thought about earlier.

  After talking with the guys, I had rushed into the house and quickly run up the dark hardwood stairs in search of my perfect room.

  I found my space easily, my place of solitude, in the third bedroom on the right.

  The dark hardwood floors followed from the hallway into the room, the bedroom walls were painted a deep purple. A bay window filtered in bright light above a built-in bench below it which was covered in the same hardwood finish. A curved ceiling, supported with a pattern of cone-like beams peaked at the top, giving the feeling that you were in the turret of a castle. I had liked it immediately.

  Coming back to the present, I shifted on my air mattress, curling into a ball. This nightmare had been a bad one. I calmed the tears that threatened to spill and tried to rationalize my dreams. It's in the past, I told myself, nothing can hurt me.

  Then the images of my dream came flooding back, and I whimpered. They replayed in my mind like a horror film. The inky, icy tentacles of the past kept reaching out for me. When would I ever find peace?

  I gasped when I felt a wet nose nudge my foot.

  HotShot.

  He padded over to my head and laid down beside my air mattress, keeping his snout on the edge of the bed as his dog breath blew over my forehead. It was gross, but comforting at the same time. With him beside me, I felt the security I needed to drift off to sleep once again.

  ***

  I was sleeping deeply until the annoying whining started. A bump on my head. Then a yip. A pull at my blankets. Then a bark-like growl.

  “Go away, HotShot," I groaned, covering my head with a pillow as the stupid mutt dragged my blankets off of me. He growled and then barked, loudly.

  “HotShot! Come!” Brady called for him.

  I felt a quick nip at my foot and shot up in bed to find bare toes glaring back at me instead of matching socks. My eyes darted to the door as the mutt ran off with it.

  Ooo. That dog's going to get it! I told myself, scrambling after him.

  I hurried down the hall to see his brown form scrambling down the stairs. I tore down after him and cornered him in the kitchen under the table. My sock was gripped between his teeth as he lowered his head, staring at me.

  Ugh. It was going to be slobbery when I got it back.

  Sarah was cooking, but she turned around to find me standing there in gray sweats and a cherry red tank-top, minus one sock.

  “What's wrong, Faith?" she asked, wiping her hands on a hand towel, looking from me to the dog under the table.

  “He,” I said, pointing to the mutt in question, “has my sock!”

  Brady walked into the kitchen dressed for work, and overheard my ‘dilemma’. He looked me over, amused. “A sock, huh?”

  I glared at him and folded my arms. Socks were important. Didn't he know that?

  Brady shook his head and called out a command to HotShot; the mutt obeying instantly, much to my chagrin. HotShot came out of hiding with the sock in his mouth, dropping it as Brady barked out another set of orders.

  I swooped down to grab it from the floor just in time for HotShot to slip his slobbery dog tongue out and plant a wet one my cheek.

  Eww. Gross.

  I quickly stepped back, wiping my face and glaring at the dog.

  “Daniels, are you glaring at HotShot again?” Brady asked from the table. A fork pausing in front of his mouth.

  “Maybe," I stated, hardening my stare at the brown-eyed mutt.

  Brady just shook his head. “We have our boxes and furniture arriving today and the McGuire kids are coming over to help unload.”

  I gave up on trying to make HotShot disappear with my mind, and sat down at the table.

  “I'm sorry I can't help this morning, but it's a short day filling out paperwork and stuff," he continued. “I should be back
early enough this afternoon to help then.”

  Brady then looked over to me with a stern look. “Behave. The McGuire bunch are good kids, and I want you to make friends. What I don't want to hear is that you’ve decked another kid.”

  I scoffed. “As long as none of them grab my butt, we'll be fine.”

  Brady got up and gathered everything for work, including HotShot. He walked over to Sarah who was sitting across from him and gave her a kiss before turning to me with a raised eyebrow. “Behave. Make friends.”

  I gave him a salute, “Aye-aye Captain.”

  He shook his head, then headed out the door.

  ***

  Behave. Make friends.

  Yeah, right, I thought as I helped unload boxes with the three hot McGuire guys, their mom, and Sarah.

  I peered over my shoulder while holding onto my box. The oldest guys, Tyler and Kayden were lifting the couch out of the moving truck. We had been at it for almost two hours already, and it was all I could do to keep from staring. I didn't like the feelings welling inside of my chest - lust wasn't something that I ever wanted to deal with.

  Too busy looking at the two hefting the couch, I ran into someone. Lincoln. He smirked, reaching out to steady me.

  “Falling for me already?” he rumbled, grinning, his blue eyes twinkling with amusement.

  Hot. Hot. Hot. Sigh. Why did they all have to be hot?

  I shrugged. “If that's how you want to play it, I'll send you my medical bill.”

  He laughed. “Touché.”

  I shook my head and rolled my eyes as I moved past him. Flirting shouldn't be on my list either, I thought, as I set the box down in the living room and headed into the kitchen to grab a water bottle.

  Sarah and Mrs. McGuire were sitting at the table talking, but quieted when they noticed me. Sarah smiled as she gestured for me to join them.

  “Faith, come sit down for a second, please.”

  I shrugged, plopping myself down in a chair at the end, accepting the unopened water bottle that was set in front of me.

  “Thanks," I said gratefully, twisting off the cap. It was as refreshing as I had hoped.

  “Faith, here, is starting at the college soon," she explained to Mrs. McGuire. “I'll be able to see her in passing while I work, but I was wondering if Raina, your oldest, could keep a look out for her.”

  I was barely listening until I heard this, and my eyes lifted up to meet Sarah's. I shook my head, my eyes wide, telling her no. I didn't want anyone to show me around. I didn't want friends.

  “I can, Mrs. Brady," a voice piped up from behind me. I turned around to see Tyler and Kayden standing there in the entryway, hands on their hips and smirks on their faces.

  “Ah, no. I think I can handle it..." I spoke, glancing at Sarah.

  “Really,” Tyler said, “it's no problem. Besides, Raina is in the higher classes and most likely not in the same area where Faith might be.”

  “Daniels," I growled out.

  “So I can show her around," he concluded, his eyes full of mischief. “Unless you're afraid of me, Daniels.”

  I snorted, glaring at him. “Don't flatter yourself.”

  Someone clapped their hands, and I glanced over to Mrs. McGuire as a smile stretched across her face. “It's settled then. Tyler will pick you up on Monday and help you to navigate around campus.”

  “What! No. Sarah was going to take me...” I glanced over to her, “We're going to go together right?”

  She sighed. “I'm going in later. I wanted to get some stuff done here before I headed over there to fill out paperwork for my new job.” She looked at me, smiling, “Isn't it perfect that Tyler goes at the same times you do?”

  I slouched down in my seat, folding my arms before glancing back over to the guys. Lincoln had joined them, all of them drinking from water bottles.

  All of them so freaking hot.

  I glanced away. I couldn't afford that kind of distraction.

  “Aren't you too young to be in college anyway?” Tyler asked, looking at me.

  I got up and brushed past them to head upstairs. I heard Sarah’s' soft sigh as she answered for me. “She graduated early.”

  Chapter 4

  "Faith!" Sarah called out from downstairs. "Tyler's here."

  I huffed as I headed down with my book-bag. “Sarah, are you trying to set me up? Because, he's like, twenty, right? Three years older than me. I don't think that's happening.”

  When I got down to the bottom, she was there waiting for me. She wore a cheery smile as she folded me into a hug. “You're almost seventeen, and it's good to make friends.” She pulled back and folded some bills into my hand, “Here, you're going to need this for lunch, and no arguing or you'll find your room painted yellow.”

  I scrunched up my face as I thought of that awful color. A horn honked, and Sarah pushed me towards the door. “Let Tyler help you. Don't sass your professors. Eat lunch and have fun!” The door closed firmly behind me after that farewell.

  “Ahhhh... What was that?” I asked myself. I turned around to see Tyler's forest green Jeep Wrangler parked in the drive. With its high tires, I was glad that I had decided to wear my dark-washed skinny jeans and a black blouse today. My flip-flop sandals, though, would suffer the climb inside.

  Tyler opened his door and stood to peer over at me without ever actually getting out of the dang Jeep. “Come on, Daniels! Hurry it up!”

  I sighed, and made my way over to the monster. Tyler looked over at me and grinned as I settled into the seat. As he backed out of the drive, he asked, “Ready for college, Daniels?”

  “This is not my first time," I said as I kept my gaze on the passing scenery, my body pressed against the door. I didn't want to have a conversation with him. I didn't want to be anyone's friend. I was fine with it being myself, Sarah and Officer Brady.

  “I don't remember the Bradys having a daughter.”

  “Huh," I said, not giving an inch. “Must have not been very bright then.”

  “Oh, I am smart," he grinned, glancing my way. "How do you think I got into college?”

  I looked over at him and smirked. “So... I guess when you went joy riding and ran over Brady's foot you were like... fourteen? Yeah, really smart," I drawled out, turning back to my window.

  He snorted. “I was thirteen, and it was a dare. I didn't know that there was a fake body shooting out of the back each time I braked. If it weren't for that, I would have never been caught. My older sister's boyfriend planned the whole thing. I was innocent.”

  I turned my head towards him, narrowing my eyes. “And underage. You stole a hearse at thirteen! That was your first mistake," I said, counting off with my fingers. “Then you trusted your sister’s boyfriend to not do something to sabotage it? Second mistake. Your third mistake was running over a cop's foot. Call me crazy, but your IQ must be seriously lacking.” I shook my head. “Thirteen. Geez.”

  We pulled into the college parking lot, finding a spot. He didn't say anything for a second, but then he pulled the key out of the ignition and turned to me.

  “I may have not been very bright back then but I do know when someone's trying to deflect. How did you become Tom Brady's daughter?”

  I knew many emotions played on my face, and for a brief second that comment brought everything to a head. My wants, my desires, my fears, but that didn't last for long. I faced him as he studied me, waiting for an answer. His eyes widened as if realizing he made a mistake. I quickly slammed down my shield and blocked the negative thoughts out.

  “I'm not," I retorted, throwing open my door and slamming it shut behind me. I slung my bag over my shoulder and started towards what I thought was the administrative office while beating myself up for letting the question affect as much as it had.

  “Hey... hey!” I heard him call out from behind me, felt his hand catch my elbow, pulling me to a stop. He turned me towards him, then moved both of his hands to my shoulders, holding me in place. His eyes were pleading for forgiven
ess. “I'm sorry," he murmured. “I had no right to come out and ask such a personal question. Please forgive me.”

  I just stood there, letting the wind blow through my hair, giving him the silent treatment. It was an awkward silence, but I was stubborn. I wanted him to stew.

  He finally groaned, letting his hands drop, dragging one through his hair.

  “For heaven's sake, Daniels! Say something!”

  I smirked, turning away from him. “You owe me lunch.”

  “Lunch?” he asked, keeping pace with me. “I can do lunch.”

  I went into the administration office, and a nice lady with glasses looked up, smiling.

  “What can I do for you, dearie?”

  I smiled, putting my paperwork in front of her on the counter.

  “I'm new, and I was told to come in here to check in for my books and schedule.”

  “Oh, yes!” she said, adjusting her glasses before going to a small stack of books. “Your mom came in and set everything up.” Accepting the small pile, I said thank you and headed out the door, doing my best to ignore the 'mom' comment.

  “Here,” Tyler said, coming up behind me, “let me help you.” He took most of the books from my arms and headed back towards his monster of a car.

  After putting the books in the back seat, I slipped the ones needed for today in my shoulder bag.

  When we got to my first class, Tyler pulled me aside. “Let me see your schedule again.” He produced a map of the college and a red marker from his own bag as I handed it over, leery and curious about what he was going to do.

  Tyler then began to mark on the map where my next few classes were, explaining how to get there. His head came up after he finished, his eyes soft as a small smile teased his lips.

  “Your last class before lunch,” he stated as he handed over the map, keeping my gaze, “is near mine, so I'll be there to meet you, ok?”

  He held my eyes until I gave a quick nod of understanding.

  “Ok then.” He grinned, turning around and walking off without another word. I scrunched up my eyebrows and pouted. He didn't even say good luck or have a great day.