Brokenly Found Read online

  I glanced over to Kayden, who had joined in the conversation with his brother and dad. He was happy. He had snuck in a kiss before Lincoln and I entered the kitchen, giving me another worry. What would their parents think? I also wondered if by accepting them and all they had to offer, if it was selfish. One heart for three?

  When I first met them in the beginning, I was attracted. Who wouldn't be attracted to tall, burly muscled guys with each of their eyes on you? I never realized how attached I had become until recently. I didn't realize I was falling for each one of them, separately, in my own time and my own way. And for them to feel the same was a relief as well as a burden.

  When Lincoln told me about all of their attractions towards me when I ran away from Tyler at the diner, and that they were more than fine with it, it had really surprised me. I reached for my glass and took a sip of my orange juice as I casually glanced back to Lincoln.

  He seemed down, and I knew why. He was hoping I didn't have any doubts about the type of relationship they were suggesting, and right now he was worried. As I placed my glass back on the kitchen table, my once hardened heart squeezed in my chest when I took notice of his mood.

  I slipped my hand under the tablecloth to link our fingers together, trying to give him comfort. He rested our hands on his thigh as our palms touched, making my heart once again pound loudly in my ears. I was becoming a romantic mess.

  Lincoln turned to smile at me and gave my hand a quick squeeze. The sadness on his face melted away, as if my touch was his cure. Even though it was gone now, I wondered how long it would stay that way. Were my uncertainties and doubts really a fear for the three of them? A fear of losing me?

  My fear was to give my heart away so soon and so easily when I had safeguarded it for so long. My hesitation was my built-in safeguard. I had lost so much already that if they left me, I would have nothing left to give.

  My brother, my mother, my father. Would the same cycle continue?

  Kayden placed his arm around my shoulders with his hand resting on my neck. He started to massage my tense muscles as if he sensed the anxiety within me. Leaning over, he whispered to me, "You're not going to war, baby. Relax." He reached over with his other hand to grab the syrup and poured some more on my pancakes. "There," he stated, after he practically drowned them. "Now be a good little girl and eat up all the pancake laced sugar. Sugar highs are a bear's best friend. Not that you're a bear or anything. Just your mood."

  I rolled my eyes, cutting into my pancakes. "Thanks, Kayden."

  "Anytime, Sweetcheeks."

  Lincoln chuckled. I went to pull my hand away, irritated, but he tightened his grip and kept hold. He soothed away my irritation with his caressing thumb, and I finally relaxed. Maybe I was being a tad bit moody.

  "Faith, honey, are you well enough to start thinking about your birthday again?" Sarah asked as she added more pancakes to the plate in the middle of the table. I groaned. I thought I’d gotten away with ditching it.

  "And don't give me any excuses," she insisted. "You need one."

  Birthday party? I twisted my lips and then thought of begging for a birthday dismissal. I didn't want a party, I just wanted a free pass.

  "Can we not and just say we did?" I suggested as I watched her return to the stove. "I'm good with doing that," I told her, hoping for a reprieve. Lincoln gave my hand a little squeeze. My body warmed at his attention.

  "Nope," she told me as turn around to grin my way.

  I didn't think she understood that I wasn't playing around. I really wanted to skip it. I didn't want the attention right now. "I promise, I'll let you do one next year," I voiced stronger, as I tried to bargain.

  "I'll do it anyways, Faiths" she told me, with her back turned towards the stove. She was dealing with the popping bacon, but turned back to me, holding the spatula with a curious look on her face. "Why don't you want a birthday party? Is it—"

  Seeing where she was going with her questioning, I broke in and adamantly shook my head. "No. It has nothing to do with my past. I'm just not up for the whole birthday thing this year. I just want to get back to my lessons before the semester ends. I want normalcy. But with college, that in-itself might not matter. I probably failed due to my absences. I will most likely have to take the whole semester, all over again."

  Kayden's thumb swept along the pulse at my neck, trying to give me some comfort, but all it did was send tingles throughout my body. I really did like all of their touches. Somehow it soothed me.

  Raina popped her head up with the slow grin, "Come on, Daniels. You know there are still weeks left in the semester. You could ask for an exception."

  "Yeah, maybe," I sighed, as I brought a piece of sugar soaked pancake to my mouth.

  "If you need me to talk to them, I could," Sarah offered.

  "Thank you, but no," I told her after I swallowed. "I don't want favors. I'll talk to them on my own."

  After breakfast, I hurried back upstairs to get ready for the day. What I didn't expect was a soft knock on my bedroom door and Mrs. McGuire to be on the other side of it. She looked nervous, and I knew she wanted to talk. It had been only a week and a half since their family found out who I was. Whereas her kids and I had come to an understanding, I had yet to hear what she had to say.

  "Can we talk?" She was nervously twisting her fingers as she spoke. I could tell this wasn't easy on her.

  I nodded, letting her in.

  "Faith I—" she paused, trying to gather her thoughts. "I'm sorry, we're sorry. My husband and I never knew how hard losing your brother was on your family. Austin was Raina's world. Both of them were new to driving and Raina was devastated by what happened. Even though it wasn't her fault, she had a difficult time with seeing you and your parents. Brady was Bobby's, my husband's, best friend and at that time, he worked in a different precinct the next town over. Raina couldn't take it anymore and six months after the accident we left and Brady took over for him."

  Silent tears slipped down her face as she spoke. I had gone through that night so many times that my tears never fell, but my heart did ache with her story. I wasn't unaffected, just muted, with scabbed scars that were healing.

  "We never knew what you went through. The Daniels were such a strong family. It was such a tragedy, one we needed to escape from. Tom and Sarah told us very little about what happened after we left town, and we never asked. They knew about the accident, but didn't know it was your family that was involved."

  Unsure of what she wanted me to say, I reached out and took a hold of her arm to try and reassure her, but she just folded me into her warm hug. "I'm so sorry, Faith, for what you went through. I don't want you distancing yourself from us because of our past." She pulled away and her eyes, so much like her sons’ stared back, filled with compassion. "I want you to be able to come to us just like you go to Sarah or Brady. You gave peace to Raina. She had always felt guilty, responsible. You coming here was a good thing."

  "Thank you," I whispered, stepping back from her and then folding my arms around myself as if to give myself a sense of security. "I didn't know at the beginning. I didn’t know who Raina was. It wasn't until we went camping that I realized it, and then after, I wasn't sure how welcome I'd be if you all knew."

  She wiped her tears and smiled. "My boys wouldn't let you go even if they tried. You're like a second sister to them. I'm glad for that. You lost your brother, and now you've gained three."

  My heart raced when she said that, as the situation for me became awkward.

  Holy Moly. She would kill me when she found out.

  I put on a friendly smile and nodded.

  What in Hades was I going to do?

  Should I blurt out that their affections were more than brotherly? That her 'welcome to the family' speech was closer than she knew? I couldn't. So I smiled and stupidly agreed.

  "Yeah... right. Brothers," I replied guiltily and silently added if you only knew...

  ***

  I came back downstairs with a pa
ir of gray sweatpants and a comfortable purple ribbed tank top, my hair up in a messy bun. I wasn't planning on going anywhere, but I did want to get out of my pj’s and take a shower. Raina met me, with a twinkle in her eye, at the bottom of the stairs. I still was sore and not up for anything bigger, and it looked like she was up to no good.

  "Want to watch a movie at my house? I know you're still sore, but you'd just be lying around like you're doing here."

  Unsure of what she had planned, I agreed, and grabbed my flip-flops to follow her across the street to her house. I wondered where the guys went as we entered her home and my question must have shown on my face because Raina grinned. "They'll be back. Don't worry." She put in a scary movie about vampires, and we both curled up on the couch. My ribs only had a dull ache to them, since I took the pain relief that Sarah gave me earlier.

  Halfway into a movie, I turned to look at Raina. She was thoroughly enjoying the show, and I wondered if I should just ask her. Did she even know what was going on between her brothers and me? It seemed like she did, but she hadn't asked me outright, and I hadn't told her. It was all new to me. So while I was lounging on one couch and Raina on the other, I propped my hand on my head and rested my elbow on the cushions. Like a creeper, I stared at her.

  "What?" Raina said after a few moments, but never turning her head. She had to have seen me out of her peripheral vision. "Can't you be like... less creepy and stare somewhere else?"

  I grinned. "Nope. It's all you, baby."

  She threw a pillow at me. "Creeper."

  I threw it right back. "You know you love me."

  She just snorted. "Whaddaya want?"

  I sighed. "Are you..." I hesitated, unsure if I was opening up a can of worms, but then I pushed on. If I couldn't talk to Raina about this, then who could I?

  "What?" she asked, getting concerned.

  I took a deep breath and asked. "Are you aware of how your brothers are with me?" I tried to come up with the best way to ask and that... was what came out.

  She squinted her eyes, attempting to figure out what I was asking, "What do you mean? About them all liking you?" she questioned, as her eyebrows raised.

  I swallowed at her blunt description, and slightly nodded; her face cleared.

  A smile played on her lips like she knew something big, and I was in for it. "Yeah, I'm aware." And then she went back to her movie, but that still didn't an answer my question. She knew that all her brothers liked me, but did she know the kind of relationship they wanted.

  "You know, they've asked me not to choose." That caught her attention. She whipped her head around, surprised.

  "What do you mean you don't have to choose? What are you getting at?"

  I really felt embarrassed now, as a blush grew on my cheeks. I didn't know how to tell her. I didn't want her to hate me. "They kind of all said they wanted to be with me," I blew out a breath, and closed my eyes as I let the last tidbit out of the bag. "Together."

  Raina shook her head and chuckled. The little twit laughed at me, and it wasn't in hysteria. She freaking knew. She knew and was making this harder on me.

  I threw the pillow back at her, hard. "Not cool, Raina."

  She pulled the pillow away from her face and grinned. "Daniels, all I can tell you is, you're going to have your hands full with the three of them. They're going to be a pain. I'm just glad that it's you. At least I know I like you."

  Now it was my turn to be confused. She wasn't worried about what they were asking of me, but I worried. "They're all asking to be with me." I dropped my voice to a whisper. "To share me. How can you be ok with this?!"

  She rolled her eyes and nodded. "Yeah, I get where you're coming from. What you're saying. I sort of had an idea, but I wasn't sure."

  I snorted. "Your mom doesn't know. She thinks it's great that they're "being brotherly" towards me.”

  Her smile got wider. "This is better than my movie." She sat up and crossed her legs and then pointed to me. "Give me all you got."

  I caved and told about her mom and the conversation we had, which made her laugh even more. And then at the end, I asked her, "Why are you so cool about this? I don't get it."

  "Well," she said as she got up out of her spot and walked over to the bookcase. She pulled out a brown photo album off the shelf and sat down beside me.

  She didn't open the album at first, she just set it on her lap. "This is my great-great-great grandmother's photo album on the McGuire’s side of the family." She opened the brown leather album and there were old brown pictures.

  While looking at the photos, I notice something peculiar. There was the same woman in the photos, surrounded by the same men. As we looked through the pictures, the kids doubled and the men still stayed. It was a woman surrounded by three men, along with kids sitting at their feet. I squinted my eyes, trying to figure out what she was getting at, not understanding.

  She pointed to the woman in the picture and said, "That's her, and the man next to her is her husband, Jacob. The man next to him is his brother, also her husband, Kenneth. The man on the other side of her," she said, pointing to the other man to the right, "That is Samuel, also her husband. And that little kid," she said, referring to a boy in the middle, "he's my great-great grandfather."

  I was shocked. "So.... Is this kind of a family thing, then?"

  Raina nodded. "Oh yeah, this is not something we easily talk about, but actually, my aunt has two husbands. She lives with Uncle Denny and his brother, Uncle Jake, but you haven't met him yet."

  "What about your mom and dad?" I asked in turn "Are they in that kind of relationship?"

  Raina shook her head. "No, but you can see why it's accepted by my brothers. I don't think my mom realizes what's going on between my brothers and you, but believe me, she will soon enough. My brothers are not ones to keep their affections to a minimum. They'd want everyone to know. How do you feel about it?"

  I looked down at her album a little unsure. "I don't know. I haven't ever thought about it like that, but I do know," I glanced up at her, "that I have feelings for each one of them, and it's not going away. In fact, it feels like it’s getting stronger."

  Raina padded my knee in reassurance. "Well, don't give up. Keep going with it, and if you ever have a problem, make sure you talk to all three of them, not just one. Make sure they're all connected to you, and don't pin them against each other. That's the worst thing you can do. Just see where it goes. They're good for you Faith, and you could be good for them."

  "Okay," I said, agreeing with her, and we went back to watching her movie.

  After the second movie, Raina put in a movie we've both seen before, but it was her favorite, so I didn't complain. A third of the way into the movie, I fell asleep and woke up again hours later. I knew it had been hours, because my mouth was dry and my body stiff, but that wasn't what had me on guard. Opening my eyes and seeing green, I realized once again, that I was not where I was before. I was lying on someone's hunter green sheets, curled up with a body behind me, and it was dark outside. What in the world? I had no idea where I was, and I had to go pee.

  I shifted, and the arm around my middle tightened, making my bathroom problem that much more urgent. "Bathroom," I muttered to whoever was behind me. The person grunted and loosened their arm.

  "Okay, Sweetcheeks," I heard Kayden whisper. This must be his room.

  I slowly got up off the bed and turned around to him, as I squinted into the dark. "Where is it?" I whispered back.

  His husky voice made my stomach flutter when he responded, "Down the hall on the left."

  I nodded. It must be near Tyler's room, but just to make sure I asked again. "You mean by Tyler's room?"

  "Yeah, come back to me, though. Don't go wandering in anyone else’s room. I have you tonight."

  I snorted, and then shook my head as I tiptoed to the door. I opened it and made my way out into the hall. I shuffled my way down to the bathroom and did my business. When I was done, I looked at myself in the mirror.
I looked tired. I wonder how I was able to stay the night here, and how I was able to sleep in Kayden's room. Surely their parents would have been opposed to that.

  I made my way back to his room, and I quietly shut his door. I shuffled back to the bed and crawled in beside him, but this time, I faced him. I slipped one of my hands under my pillow as he wrapped an arm around my waist to bring me in closer to him.

  "Kayden?" I whispered. In the darkness, our legs had tangled together as we both tried to find a more comfortable position. My head had found its way off my pillow and onto his shoulder. I was basically wrapped up in him.

  "Kayden," I whispered again.

  "Yes, Sweetcheeks?"

  I scrunched my nose up at the endearment that he used. Is that what he was going to call me from now on? I dismissed it and went on. "Raina talked to me this afternoon about your great-great-whatever grandparents."

  "Mmm-hmm," he said, still half asleep, I was sure he was only half listening. He then tried to bring me in closer, but I didn't think there was any space left between us for us to get closer.

  "I saw pictures."

  "What about it?" he asked with a yawn.

  "About how she had more than one husband."

  This caught his attention. "Yeah?" he seemed more alert now.

  "Lincoln talked to me and told me that's what you guys wanted to try to do... with me."

  Kayden was now fully awake. He moved his arm from around my waist up to my face to tuck a piece of hair back behind my ear, and then he just held my head as his thumb rubbed against my temple. Even though it was dark, I could still see his light blue eyes as they stared into mine.

  "Why are you asking these questions?"

  I shrugged. "Because I want to know where I stand, I guess. I'm not sure what I'm doing with all of you. Am I in a relationship with the three of you or am I just dating you three? Do I have to have to pick one of you over the others?" His hand tightened on my head as I continued. "I don't know what I'm doing. I'm lost, Kayden. I'm totally and utterly lost," I whispered.